Spirit Rising

It was in 1997 when I had a near-death experience. And prior to my spirit rising from my body, I was panicked indeed. Yet, I could do nothing about it. For my body would not move; it was limp. My eyes had rolled backward. But I was within the body, now separate from the self I thought to be my truth. This was my first experience that I was not the body the wrong mind of ego thinking told me that I was.

With thoughts racing, 'I am going to die. I am going to to die. I am going to die. Please pick up your hand. Pull yourself to together. Oh crap. I am going to die.' Panic was filling this vessel that I knew I was sinking in. And then this peace of perfection took hold. I started to rise above the body. I was now floating near the ceiling. In the same position that God had come to me when I was a little girl of 8. 

What surprised me the most was how strong I was as spirit. Something I was not facing as the separate self of Natasha. Struggling to get through each day, overloaded with problems.

There must have been a silent telepathic request. For I never did hear a question, but I gave an answer. 'No. The time is not now. Not like this. Not so far away. My mother will not survive.' Truth be told, I cannot remember the exact thought I had on the late Wednesday night, as I was getting ready to go to Café de Paris in London. But I was now pleading to be sent back to a life I could only describe as hell. However, what was the other side like? It was peaceful and kind. And I was powerful and comforted. It was not a shock either. For I knew that this was my real home, and not the one that I was pretending to be in.

I was obviously allowed, what seemed like a return to the body. I woke a few hours later vomiting blood. I was sick for days.

I also never did question what happened to me. I was having a date with death, in these years of my early twenties, for I was in so much emotional pain. I truly do not know how I even survived.

Fast forward another decade plus. I was now in even more pain, suffering through acute post-traumatic stress disorder. So bad was this torment it lead to a spiritual awakening. For the wrong mind of ego thinking was destroyed. If I had not of reclaimed the right mind - with my awareness in the lower gut - I would not be here to share this tale with you. The road of suffering that leads to salvation.

On this day in question, yes, it was around mid-morning. I was laying perpendicular on my bed. Another day stuck in the bedroom, for all I could do was breathe through unimaginable stress and trauma. This was as much as I could even cope with.

When something beautiful happened. With my foe of anguish, I felt peace and perfection instantly surround me. I was once again lifted upward. There was no fear. Just release. I was being freed from the prison of punishment, the ego-mind, and taken out of time. Up, up, up I went. Until I was no longer in time. Now, this was different to the near-death I had moved through over a decade prior. For the near-death experience I was still bound to the idea of separation (the notion of souls).

Now, I was given a reprieve. I was taken outside of the chapters of the story of suffering and back into the truth of our being whole, holy and happy. Even though I was outside of time, I could still hear my parents speaking in the kitchen beside my bedroom. But I was no longer in the dream. I was everything the dream was. I was my mom and dad. I was the birds in the sky. I was the people I was blaming for the trauma I faced. I was the sky and ocean. For there is only One of us here, even though time portrays otherwise. I was all good and bad. I was all dark and light. For it was not true. It was a dream that I must wake from not be defined by. And when I say I here, I am referring to the One Mind that sleeps, dreaming exile from God is true.

So, what did this feeling of Oneness grant. It offered freedom and vastness. I could fly, literally. For there was nowhere that I was not. I came to know what a punishment the body is. A vessel used to house the Son of God we are in the name of our being Perfect Love.

There were no separating thoughts, but thoughts of gratitude and love. For this is the thinking of God and the Son. A continuation of extension, not separation and suffering.

Unfortunately, I then had the thought, 'Please don't send me back to the body.' And with that, I found myself tumbling through time, yes different time periods that seemed to be happening all at once. I then landed into my body with a thud. I remember crying so hard after this happened. What was it that I had done to deserve such punishment? I then remember thinking I wish I had not of asked to return to my body in the late 1990s, such was the suffering I had endured.

The world of form is the dream you must wake from, whilst you sleep in the comfort and care of God's Perfect Love. Yes, we are really at Home with God, but part of the mind has spilt and now dreams instead of wakes.

You must learn to dream to wake not to die. For it is time to go back to God. To the presence of Perfect Love that is our true identity. Unfortunately, you do need to look upon your hidden hate and secret sin to atone, in order to open the right mind where God is.

Fear not the darkness for it conceals the light. If I can make it through my own pure punishment to begin to reclaim the peace of God, you can as well. I simply continued to truly forgive everything, until I was released from suffering. The true other side belongs to the right mind of wholeness, holiness and happiness that is your true teacher in time. Yes, your true teacher is not another, but rather the presence of Perfect Love concealed inside the subconscious. You just need a map to find the way. And that is why God has granted The Treasure Map and the truth of His FAITH. For it leads you to the right mind, where true perception reside, that then leads to knowledge.

Take care of yourself.

Much love, peace and Truforgiveness,